Finding True Happiness: Satisfying Our Restless Hearts (Happiness, Suffering, and Transcendence). By Fr. Robert J. Spitzer, S.J., Ph.D., Ignatius Press, 2015.
Note: This book is not to be confused with Archbishop Fulton Sheen’s book Finding True Happiness.
Everybody wants to be happy, but many people seem incapable of actually achieving happiness. In Finding True Happiness, Fr. Robert J. Spitzer explains how faith is at the heart of genuine joy, and discusses the distractions, unhealthy thinking, and other problems that potentially leave people in misery. This book is more than just a facile declaration that happiness is a “state of mind.” It is also a declaration that one has to make a conscious effort to achieve and maintain happiness, and also to avoid actions and thought patterns that may lead to unhappiness.
Finding True Happiness is part of a series. Fr. Spitzer plans a quartet of books on related subjects, covering happiness, suffering, and transcendence. When explaining the purpose of this series, he writes:
“I have written this quartet not only for committed Catholics and Christians, but also for young adults who are beginning their faith journey, and especially for those who feel themselves to be at an impasse– not knowing whether to take their faith seriously or to let it slip away. Many in that latter group may have experienced being attacked for their beliefs– perhaps accused of wishful thinking or naiveté. Some may have been confronted with misleading arguments about a contradiction between science and faith, between suffering and the loving God, or between science and faith, between suffering and the loving God, or between “Jesus in the Gospels” and “Jesus in history.” Others may simply be confused by the mixed signals given in schools and the media.”
This book is meant to help people, but it’s not just a self-help book. It’s meant to answer questions about the root causes of unhappiness. The book opens with Fr. Spitzer asking questions about why people believe themselves to be unhappy, how people who seem to have everything can be miserable, and why positive feelings can be so ephemeral. Throughout the book, Fr. Spitzer implies that people make their own unhappiness, either by bad decisions or by poor attitudes.
“Our hope in this quartet is to confront what might be called the “Freudian illusion” about the unreality of transcendence by showing the evidence of our spiritual and eternal nature, studying the revelation of Jesus Christ about God’s unconditional love, probing the power of God’s grace working in us through inspiration, protection, and guidance, revealing the importance of these graces in times of suffering and confrontation with evil, and shining a light on the eternal destiny that awaits us in the unconditional love of God. In brief, our objective is to lift the veil of superficiality and materialism that has not only been proposed to us but even imposed on us through contemporary media, academics, and popular culture, so that we can see the true mystery of our being, our highest purpose in life, and the divine destiny to which we are called.”
Fr. Spitzer draws heavily from his personal experiences in this book. He discusses the deep religiosity of his early life, remembering how his mother attended Mass daily and guided her son’s religious education. In one particularly touching scene, Fr. Spitzer recalls a feeling of deep euphoria that came from Christmas, but he knew that his feelings of elation did not come from presents or anything material. With his mother’s help, the young Robert Spitzer realized that it was the spiritual aspects of the holiday that made it fulfilling and joyous. It was the love of God and God’s love that made Christmas joyous, as opposed to the tinsel and trappings.
“In sum, if God is loving, (which is common to the interior experience and exterior expression of all religion) and God is unrestricted being and thinking (proven in Volume II), then the unique revelation of Jesus Christ (that God is unrestricted love) is the best candidate we have for the ultimate and personal self-revelation of God.”
It is important to remember, nonetheless, that religious belief and faith are not necessarily guarantees of happiness. Fr. Spitzer notes that people who ostensibly have every reason in the world to be happy are in fact miserable. For example, people may have plenty of wealth and material possessions, or success in their careers, and still feel unfulfilled. Plenty of people with an overabundance of blessings find it necessary to use alcohol or drugs to numb their feelings of sorrow. Why are some people ready to kill themselves over what seem to most observers to be minor trifles? Why do people who are happy themselves take pleasure in denying happiness to others? And why is happiness so ephemeral sometimes?
“All of these questions are articulations of what we mean by unhappiness. But notice that in all of these questions, there is an element of surprise– of not expecting the unhappiness or emptiness, which makes the unhappiness even worse, causing one to think, “I thought this would make me happy, but surprisingly, I’m still empty (or jealous, resentful, fearful, cynical, self-pitying, lonely…) I have no idea why I feel the way I do. Why is it that I had a great bolt of happiness for a while, and now I feel as if somebody or something snatched it away from me?” This surprise, this nonanticipation of unhappiness, is, in part, what this book is meant to address.
The reason for the surprise is that people often lack a deeper insight into happiness. Despite their best efforts, many people seem to be partially or even completely unaware of their complex selves– selves that seek truth, fairness, love, beauty, home, creativity, and even transcendence. If these people are to find a deep and efficacious happiness (and avoid the “unhappiness surprise”), they will have to know themselves in their complexity, and this will take a little time to explore. But at the end of the day it will be worth it.
This is not going to be an easy “how-to” book. If I were to write a book like that, or give you a collection of aphorisms (which would fail to explore the depth of your being and meaning), all I would give you is a superficial (and in the end, unsuccessful) answer to your search for happiness.”
There are certain forms of unhappiness that cannot be avoided, such as grief over the loss of a loved one, but that sort of sadness becomes easier to bear with time. Mental illness such as depression may need professional help to be alleviated. Such forms of unhappiness come naturally and cannot be fixed simply by positive thinking and similar actions. The happiness Fr. Spitzer encourages is not some kind of unshakeable Pollyanna-like euphoria that never wavers or fades. It is not permanent pleasure, but something far less flashy and ultimately, of more constructive use to individuals and those around them.
Throughout the book, Fr. Spitzer seems to be saying that happiness, like virtue, is not something to be achieved once and then maintained forever. It is something that must be earned every day for as long as one lives. Achieving Fr. Spitzer’s form of happiness is not a contest, where the person with the most money or the most attractive spouse or the most powerful job wins. True happiness can be easily lost, yet also regained without too much difficulty. It simply takes a clear and determined mindset of the kind advised by Fr. Spitzer, who suggests that the truest happiness is not only a gift, but a reward for something that is is earned with difficulty.
–Chris Chan
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