The Thrill of the Chaste

 The Thrill of the Chaste, by Dawn Eden.  Nashville, Tennessee: W Publishing Group, 2006.  224 pages, Softcover, $13.99.

 

“Some are born chaste, some achieve chastity, and some have chastity thrust upon them...” This variation of the famous line from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night illustrates the different ways that people can be excluded from a society permeated by the “sexual revolution.” Dawn Eden’s book The Thrill of the Chaste is about achieving a chaste lifestyle, and with a little luck this manifesto will spark a revolution of its own. 

Part memoir, part self-help guide, The Thrill of the Chaste provides a joyous rebuttal to a culture obsessed with sex. Eden, a journalist who writes and blogs about issues ranging from rock music to politics to biomedical ethics, is a longtime friend of Gilbert Magazine, having previously given an interview about her discovery of Chesterton and subsequent conversion to Christianity. She was unceremoniously fired from her job at the New York Post for defending the rights of the unborn, but thankfully the ensuing media coverage of her dismissal led to a new job and a book deal.

The Thrill of the Chaste alternates between Eden’s musings on how abstinence builds character and snippets from her personal life. The autobiographical scenes are beautifully and humorously written, swiftly gaining the reader’s sympathy and admiration. Some of the best parts of the book are the scenes that discuss heart-wrenching breakups with unflinching honesty, coupled with musings on how Eden uses these unpleasant experiences to determine what she truly wants out of a relationship. Her anecdotes are told with such wry wit and pathos that one hopes that she follows up this book with a full autobiography. The passages that focus on her adoption of Christian sexual ethics draw heavily on her personal experience, allowing her defense of chastity to be heartfelt rather than preachy as she sets about demolishing Helen Gurley Brown’s legacy.

This book is geared for adults, but parents will find it an invaluable resource for teaching their children about the emotional dangers of sex outside of marriage.  Eden hits the central problem of sex education today right on the head. It doesn’t work just to say that young people should not engage in sex “because it’s wrong,” the arguments for abstention have to approach the topic from a perspective that argues that “it’s wrong because…” For some unknown reason, the prospect of burning in hell for eternity is not as effective a deterrent as one might think. An effective argument for chastity has to explain why whatever feelings of pleasure unsanctified intercourse might provide, they are far outweighed by the ways that the “it’s just sex” mentality can leave people bereft and unfulfilled.

One of the largest hurdles towards advancing the virtues of a chaste lifestyle is the widespread dichotomy that people who engage in wanton sex are mentally healthy and “sexually liberated,” whereas people who abstain are “sexually repressed,” and only refrain due to some unresolved neurosis. Eden brilliantly illustrates how what is commonly defined as “liberation” is really a kind of enslavement, since in order to participate in this lifestyle, one as to set up all sorts of emotional and psychological barricades, the likes of which were very difficult for her to overcome. Similarly, by presenting the happiness and self-respect she gained from chastity, she punctures the lie that abstinence is unnatural and unhealthy.

Another interesting point arising from this book is Eden’s exploration of why many advocates of sex outside of marriage are so hostile those who choose to abstain.  After all, so many of them cry out “don’t judge me!” when someone criticizes their actions, but as Eden demonstrates, many of these people do not hesitate to cast criticism and aspersions upon the chaste. Perhaps, as Eden suggests, to defend their own actions they have to denigrate the alternative. Another possibility lies in the fact that today’s culture is permeated by consumerism. Oscar Wilde once said sunsets are not valued because they cannot be paid for, and likewise, it seems like chastity is not valued today because there is no money to be made from it. Eden’s book shows that “free love” isn’t free.

Eden frequently expresses her irritation with the attitudes popularized in the television show Sex In the City, a series that glorifies frequent intercourse with people whose names one can’t remember in the morning and taking out a mortgage to buy shoes that the average woman cannot walk four feet in without stumbling. It would be amazing if some adventurous television producer were to develop a show based on Eden’s life that advocates her morals. But that’s not likely to happen.

This review first ran in the magazine Gilbert! https://www.chesterton.org/gilbert/